earthquakes and vampires

4 am. That’s what time it was when smalldog woke me up this morning. Although I used to get up at 4 (well…4ish…) rather routinely, that was back when I was a wage slave. Now that I am a professional Vacationer, I tend to sleep in a bit later. Sometimes as late as 7 or 8. He didn’t wake me by barking or scratching at the door or something equally doglike. No, I woke up because he suddenly jumped up on the bed and just sat down next to me. Smalldog never jumps on the bed. He doesn’t jump on the bed because he knows he’s not allowed on the bed. I have boundaries. No dogs in the bed. Ever. And he knows that.

So I was pretty astounded. I said ‘What the HELL are you doing?!!’ He immediately jumped down. And then just stood there in the middle of the room staring at…the window? God knows, I tried to ignore him and roll back over and go back to sleep. But…wtf? Why did he do that? And what the hell is he looking at?

Keep in mind my bedroom is on the second floor so there’s pretty much nothing he could be seeing out the window. I sighed, opened my eyes and looked at him again. Still standing there tensely, staring at the window. I listened for thunder – he’s afraid of storms so if he heard thunder, that might alarm him enough to explain his odd behavior. But there was no thunder. There was nothing. I reached over to touch his back and detected just the slightest hint of a tremble. ‘What’s the matter, Lassie? Did Timmy fall in the well?’

He spared me a quick worried glance, but did not relax. (Well, I’m assuming he looked worried – I mean, it was 4 am and it was kind of dark, dammit!) I grumbled. I pulled up the blankets and rolled over and closed my eyes resolutely, determined to go back to sleep.

But it was too late of course. I found myself thinking of earthquakes and vampires. We don’t have a lot of earthquakes in Ohio, but if he felt/sensed one, he might have found it to be …concerning. And I have no idea how many vampires there are in Ohio, but I’ve seen the movies and I know they float outside your bedroom window, trying to entice you into inviting them in…and dogs probably don’t find them enticing.

So…I had to get up. At 4 AM. I found no evidence of earthquakes, no trace of vampires. But the good news is, once I made coffee and he was assured that I was in no danger of getting back to sleep anytime soon, Smalldog felt sufficiently reassured to put himself back to bed.

Little bastard…

Stupid

No I didn’t try….why would I…..do you think I’m stupid

I might be an alien…

…as in life form, not illegal immigrant.

I’m not like other people. I’m pretty sure of that. Probably everyone thinks that of themselves and probably to a degree, everyone is right. We are all the same in the sense that we are all fucking unique, right?

We are, but…even so, I’m pretty sure that I’m not like other people. Or at least, I vary from the norm in more ways than most of the people I know vary from the norm.. Of course, most people that I know are pretty white bread, middle class, nine to five, mid-level, middle income non-professionals.

(why, no, I don’t get around a lot – how did you know?)

But, when I was recently ‘let go’ from my job, along with half a dozen coworkers, I was the only one who was not horrified, terrified, appalled and truly frightened by this sudden state of unemployment. In fact, in the meeting at which we were all advised of our new and unwelcome status…it was difficult for me to hold back a smile. I knew that a smile would not be appropriate. We were being deprived of our income, our economic stability, our future! One of my coworkers wept. Another begged for another job within the company – any job! Others sat in stunned silence. I’m pretty sure that I was the only one fighting a smile. I was the only one who had to resist the urge to jump up on the table and break into a happy dance…I was the only one thinking…yes! This is what I’ve been waiting for…this is what I always wanted to be when I grew up – on vacation!

Now all I have to do is figure out a way to get paid for it…

365 Thoughts

…this is how many thoughts I would have to have in order to post a new thought every day for the next year. wow. that’s a lot. I don’t know if I’m capable of having 365 new thoughts. At my age, I may be thought out. I mean, of course, I could give you some stupid mundane thoughts like, ‘I’m hungry’ or ‘I have to pee..’ or ‘is it time to change the oil in my car?’…but that’s what twitter is for, right? And I don’t have a twitter account. I just have this blog.

well, so far, anyway…

And we’re talking about new thoughts, not the same old mundane thoughts that I have had since day one…day one, being the day I first started having thoughts…and I wish I could remember that day because it seems like it should be important enough to remember. And yet it wasn’t…

But speaking of changing the oil in my car…it actually should be close to time to do just that. The last time I had the oil changed in my car was April 13. Which was four days after I got laid off from my job (of 22 years, but who’s counting?). So they tell you to change the oil every 3000 miles or every 3 months, whichever comes first. Well since I don’t have a job any more and I don’t have to drive more than 40 miles a day getting to and from that job…well, let’s just say it has not been 3000 miles.

Actually, it took about two months after losing my job before I even had to gas up my car again. Yay! This is good since I no longer have an income. But now it’s almost three months and I have to ask myself…do I really need to change the oil on a car that has had only 500 miles put on it in the last three months? I don’t think so….

Oh, don’t worry – I have more to say about losing my job (22 years!), but not now, not yet…stay tuned…